True but thats because hes a fetus.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize