Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
God I need to hump something, right now.
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