He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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