Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
