I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
should my penis look like a turkey
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
