It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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