It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
