The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
