You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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