I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
