Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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