I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
