how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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