just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is the high leading the old right now
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
