If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
