I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
