I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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