you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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