not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
