This is not my ceiling
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
