did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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