with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
