doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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