She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
