something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
