I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize