You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
