my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the raccoons are back...
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