New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
