i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize