dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And then the night went full on bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
