just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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