Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
