I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
