in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
