What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
