we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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