exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
