I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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