well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
