i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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