garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize