She's JV to your varsity
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
