What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
