i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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