DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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