I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
