I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Two words: nipple clamps
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