im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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