i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
