ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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