the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
