i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
