Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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