I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
