Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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