North Korea, Best Korea!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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