Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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