Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
