You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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