after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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