i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
