theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
