i barfeds in our rink
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
