If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
