Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How does it feel to date your dad?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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