I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
