You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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