i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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