i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
