Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My penis needs a shock collar
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
