i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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