I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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