Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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