what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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