So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
