I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
