I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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