If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
