this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i came on her dog
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
