Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
