dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize