Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
