she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
