Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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