I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
ttyl tear gas
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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