Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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