its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
