i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
