yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
